What Is It Going To Take? : Next Door

It?s been a little over a week since the body of 18-year-old high-school graduate Lauren Astley was found near Boston, Massachusetts. The young woman?s life seems to have been taken away in an act of domestic violence that occurred after Astley ended a three-year, on and off again relationship with her boyfriend Nathaniel Fujita.? On the night that he allegedly killed her, he bombarded her with text messages and insisted that they meet. She relented and the situation turned fatal. Fujita allegedly stabbed Astley, wrapped bungee cords around her throat and left her body in a marsh. Evidence has been found connecting Fujita with the incident and he was recently arrested and charged with the young woman?s murder.

While it is not common for these types of relationships to end in murder, teen dating violence is anything but rare. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, it is estimated that 1 in 3 high school relationships involve some sort of physical, emotional or sexual abuse. Despite such a high frequency of abuse taking place in teen relationships, it is not being given the attention that it deserves. What is it going to take for us to take this problem seriously? How many more women will lose their self-esteem, their focus in school, their friends and family, and even their lives due to intimate partner violence? Never mind- don?t answer that. I almost don?t want to know.

Many teens, as well as their parents, don?t believe that teen dating violence can happen to them. They believe that relationships are too casual at their age to incite the kind of emotional intensity that results in violence. Boy, that couldn?t be further from the truth. The pressures and hardships facing teens today are greater than those faced by any other generation. And with the advent of the technological age, where almost every teen has access to Facebook and cell phones, dating abuse is happening in ways we may not even recognize. For example, a survey performed by Love is Respect found that one-third of teens report receiving 10, 20 or even 30 controlling text messages an hour from their partner, asking where they are and who they?re with.

When addressing teen dating violence, one cannot understate the importance of prevention. The right time to start talking to teens about healthy relationships is before the relationship even forms. Adults need to promote the idea that kids shouldn?t be violent or controlling with anyone and that everyone deserves respect. We also need to make teens, parents and teachers aware of the warning signs associated with a dangerous relationship. Aside from cuts and bruises, signs of abuse also take the form of a lack of focus in school, low self-esteem, frequent mood swings, estrangement from family and friends, and even depression.

The best way to provide teens with help is to keep an open line of communication. Not only will this help your children recognize the potential risk, but it will also create a safe space where they may feel comfortable sharing if they feel as though they are in harms way.? Besides creating a dialogue at home, you can also make an appointment to meet with your school principal and ask that some type of dating violence curriculum be implemented. Research shows that this helps reduce the risk of teen dating violence.

Let?s make today the day that we make ending teen dating violence a priority.

Source: http://www.nextdoor.org/teendvmass/

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